What Is a Friend?

The Hebrew Perspective on Friendship

In the Hebrew language, the concept of a friend goes beyond a simple noun; it can also be a verb, reflecting the depth and action-oriented nature of true friendship. A friend might be a neighbor, a family member (by blood or marriage), or even God Himself. This multifaceted view is evident in the variety of Hebrew words used for "friend," each revealing unique dimensions of relationship.

One of these terms, H441 (“אַלוּף” – Alluwph), describes a friend as someone gentle, a relationship tamed and trustworthy, even with those in authority over us. Consider the following passages where this word is used:

• Proverbs 16:28: “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”

• Proverbs 17:9: “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”

• Micah 7:5: “Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.”

Friendship also carries a romantic dimension, as seen in the Song of Solomon. Solomon calls the Shulammite woman not only his sister and spouse but also his friend. The Hebrew word H1730 (“דּוֹד” – Dowd) emphasizes love in both a noun and verb form:

• Song of Solomon 5:1: “I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.”

Another word, H4828 (“מֵרֵַע” – Merea`), highlights friendship as a bond of trust, loyalty, and companionship, as seen in these passages:

• Genesis 26:26: "Then Abimelech went to him from Gerar, and Ahuzzath one of his friends, and Phichol the chief captain of his army."

• Judges 14:20: "But Samson's wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend."

Finally, H7453 (“רֵַע רֵיַע” – Rea) and H7462 (“רָעָה” – Raah) describe associations ranging from casual acquaintances to profound acts of care and stewardship, such as tending a flock. These words demonstrate how friendship often involves action—investing in the well-being of another.

The Greek Perspective on Friendship

The Greek language, like Hebrew, offers a rich vocabulary for friendship, capturing the nuances of different types of relationships. One example is G1069 (γείτων – Geiton), which describes a neighbor—someone close in proximity who could be called upon for help. Jesus uses this term in His parables:

• Luke 14:12: "When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee."

• Luke 15:6: "And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost."

Another term, G2083 (ηεταίρος – Hetairos), reflects companionship or camaraderie. Matthew often uses this word to describe different kinds of relationships:

• Matthew 20:13: “Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?”

• Matthew 26:50: "And Jesus said unto him, Friend, wherefore art thou come?"

One of the most profound Greek words for "friend" is G2321 (Θεόφιλος – Theophilos), meaning "friend of God." It represents a relationship of intimacy and love, such as the connection between God and the recipient of Luke’s writings:

• Luke 1:3: "It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee in order, most excellent Theophilus."

• Acts 1:1: "The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach."

Lastly, G5368 (φιλέω – Phileo) describes friendship rooted in affection, care, and honor. This verb captures the sentiment of loving another person deeply and personally:

• Romans 13:9: "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

• James 2:8: "If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well."

Friendship as an Act of Faith

The Bible's exploration of friendship goes far beyond human relationships. Abraham was called a "friend of God" because of his faith and obedience (James 2:23). Similarly, Jesus calls His disciples friends, emphasizing the bond forged through love and shared purpose:

• John 15:13-15: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you."

As Christians, we are called to embody this sacrificial, God-centered love in our relationships. Friendship is not merely about proximity or shared interests; it is a reflection of God’s love working through us. It requires humility, kindness, and a willingness to put others before ourselves.

Conclusion

From the ancient Hebrew and Greek languages to the teachings of Jesus, the concept of friendship is rich and multi-dimensional. It encompasses everything from casual acquaintances to deep, covenantal relationships, always rooted in trust, love, and action. To be a friend in the biblical sense is to love others as God loves us, striving to reflect His grace in every interaction.

So, my Plesion, let us cherish the gift of friendship, nurturing it with care, humility, and faith. In doing so, we fulfill the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves, becoming living testimonies of God’s enduring love.